Questions Answered
by Kali and Mimi
Summary: In which Duo asks questions, and Heero comes up with some of his own.


Questions Answered 

Hey, Heero?

Yeah, Duo?

I was just wonderingwhat if somebody walked up to you and farted in front of you without giving any reason? What would you do then?

Not the what-if' questions *again,* Duo.

They're valid questions, Heero, and I asked a what would' question, too.

I'll ignore the second part of your answer and respond only to the first: yes, they can be, but *your* what- if' questions are usually nonsensical.

I resent that, Heero. You never know, maybe one day, one of my what-if' questions will make someone think and think and think about the question that *I* raised, and make some really great invention or innovation just because *I* made them think about it. All the great minds of the pre-colonial era and colonial era invented what they did because someone, or somebody, asked a what-if' question. Every invention is accompanied by the ubiquitous what-if' question.

Yes, but those what-if' questions actually had merit. Most what-if' questions, judging by the what-if' questions I've heard asked by others, have to do with unlikely possibilities while the what-if' questions that have led to great inventions normally have to do with finding ways to facilitate our every day lives, not ridiculous, juvenile issues like your reaction to a stranger releasing gas. And as for your genius hearing a what-if' question that inspires him to make a wondrous invention scenario, the probability of *anyone* asking a sound what-if' question at the exact same moment a person with an unusually intelligent and creative mind is within hearing distance is fairly low.

That is so not true, Heero.

Oh no? 

Sarcasm doesn't become you, Heero.

I still hold to my argument. It seems to me that talking about the excretion of bodily wastes in their various forms is rather infantile, not to mention extremely pointless.

It's not infantile, Heero. My question's a good question, it really is.

How can you justify the value of a question that has to do with a stranger farting in your face?

Well, your answer will give me more insight into the workings of your mind, and how you interact with things in your environment. By the way? I never said the stranger farted *in your face*, I stated *in front of you*. I don't think it's even *possible* to fart in someone's face, unless you're sitting down, and that person's standing, and from my phrasing, it's pretty obvious that you're walking too, so really, I have *no* idea how you came up with that idea—

Okay then: *a stranger farting in front of you*? And your phrasing was vague and imprecise. Try a better argument next time. 

Fine, maybe that question *was* a little silly, but it still has merit. Every question is worth something, no matter how ridiculous it seems. 

Perhaps, if only to teach you never to ask such idiotic questions.

Aw, c'mon, Heero. Don't be so calculating. It's only natural to question things. Little kids ask what-if' questions all the time. Why can't grown-ups ask them too?

I never said they couldn't. And by the way, Duo, I won this argument. You can stop trying to distract me because it won't work.

Fine. I concede the point. Happy?

Admit it, Yuy, you are. You're smirking.

I am not.

You so are!

Okay, so maybe I am, a little. I haven't lost so many times in a row before and it's nice to get my own back.

Heh. Maybe *this* time, but just you wait till next time. Why do you think I'm letting you off so easily?

Rub it in my face, why don't you.

Sure, why not?

I didn't mean that literally, Duo.

Hm? What's that? I don't seem to have heard you. Ah yes, the score is now forty-three to twenty-two, with a fifteen-game losing streak for you.

Meaning that as of right now–

Alright, alright, I'll stop.

Aren't you going to say thank you,' at least?

No. Why should I?

You know, for shutting up. Doing you a favour by stopping talking.

That wasn't really doing me a favour, Duo. It was more of an obligation, really.

Well, yeah, with *most* people. But you're not most people. You're Heero.

And that means?

Well, you know me better than most people, right?

And you know that even though I don't talk near as much as I used to, half of the things I say don't really mean anything, right? 

And you've lived with me for three years now, right?

And you see me every day at work too, right?

Ever get the feeling that we repeat ourselves a lot?

Anyway, considering all the facts, after having lived with me, and worked with me for three years now, you should be used to having me almost always underfoot, blabbing away like there's no tomorrow. Not to mention, you've probably learned to tune me out when I'm talking about nothing, or when I'm actually saying something serious.

Yes to what? And could you stop with the yes-es? They're getting kind of annoying.

Yes, I have gotten used to you; yes, I have gained the ability of selective hearing when I'm around you, and no, I will not stop using yes.

But I stopped talking about the game for you. Now it's your turn to return the favour. Oops. I mean you too should be courteous, and stop giving single word answers that annoy me.

No other words would better suit your questions.

Oh. I see your point. Maybe a nod, then?

No can do. You often complain that I don't talk enough and since I'm in a relatively talkative mood tonight, you should take advantage of it.

If you keep on going with your single-word yes answers, then no, I'd prefer not to take advantage of your talkative' mood tonight.

I thought you saw my point.

I do, but that still doesn't get rid of my annoyance.

You should learn to be more tolerant.

This from the man who couldn't even tolerate *one* what-if question?

Admit it, Heero. You walked right into that one.

Oh, shut up."

___________________________________________

**Author's Notes:**

Pointlessness is fun.

And, as always, Gundam Wing does not belong to me. 

--Kali 


End file.
